Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Final Rutgers Thoughts: Where I Gouge My Eyes With a Red Hot Fucking Poker

You're up 24-17 with less than 4 minutes left in the fourth quarter. 4th and 1 at the Rutgers 46, and you want to go for it to keep the ball away from Rutgers. What you gonna do? The rest of the free world would either try a quick dive or a quarterback sneak. But you say fuck conventional wisdom! We're going shotgun, quarterback draw! It's so fucking crazy, they'll never think we'll actually run it!

Well, Mr. It'ssobatshitcrazyitjustmightwork, that didn't work out too well and it almost cost us the game. If not for a fine stop by the defense combined with a less than competent Mike Teel, we'd be 2-3.

I spent a lot of time in the off season defending your hire. Even if you're not the innovative genius that your predecessor was, you supposedly hired some top notch assistants. So it's time to figure out who among you is the critical thinker of the group and let that person make the calls in important situations. I can live with you being a figurehead if you can, because I know without doubt that you are always going to represent the school and state with class. I like that, and it's almost as important to me as winning. But living on the edge with some of these calls and clock management is really starting to wear thin on me and the rest of the state.

We want you to succeed, probably as much as you do! So keep it between the lines and let's kick the shit out of Syracuse! M'kay?

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